


Twelve years

by melian225



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Challenge Entry, Community: HPFT, M/M, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-19
Updated: 2017-11-19
Packaged: 2019-02-04 12:49:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12771435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/melian225/pseuds/melian225
Summary: After escaping from Azkaban, Sirius makes his way south in search of Harry.Written for poppunkpadfoot's Sirius Black Is Gay challenge at HFPT





	Twelve years

Twelve years.

It was a long time to be out of the world, which for all intents and purposes you had been. Away from all society, not just wizarding but also the Muggle world which you had liked to delve into on occasion. It pissed off your parents no end and besides, you liked the change. Liked the anonymity. Liked the sense of peace in a world not wracked by war. (Yes, sure, there had been a few IRA bombings and the like around London before your arrest. But it was nothing like the all-pervading sense of fear in the wizarding world, and you’d appreciated that.)

You took in the countryside as you made your way south. Things had changed a fair bit in twelve years, if your memory was any guide. Of course, the memory of how things had looked wasn’t really a happy one, so the Dementors hadn’t been able to suck that out of you like they had so many other things. But yeah, things were different. Cars looked different, people looked different, trains looked different. There were a lot more Muggle aeroplanes in the sky now, and you were grateful for your dog form as it meant you was unlikely to be found. That’s if Remus hadn’t told the authorities about it, that was.

Remus. Your heart skipped a beat. You’d not been able to think of Remus much in the past twelve years, because they were happy thoughts. Happy memories. And that was what Dementors thrived on. Of course, that was discounting how you’d parted, the angry words that had left you seething yet regretful they’d not been able to sort things through. No, those angry words were certainly not a happy memory. And so you’d relived them hundreds – no, thousands – of times while imprisoned.

Oh, to find a happy memory! You wracked your brain. You knew they were there, but they might be a bit of time coming back. That was okay. Time was one thing you had.

You’d been steering clear of the major cities, going on the theory that if Remus had given your secret away, you would be more likely to be spotted there. But it was going to be much quicker to go through London on your way to Surrey than to skirt around it, so you risked the exposure for the sake of convenience. After all, if you wanted to find Harry before the first of September, you would have to be quick.

You saw almost immediately how mistaken you’d been thinking you would be more likely to be spotted in the cities. There were so many people around that no one seemed to even notice you. You wondered what would happen if you assumed your human form, but after seeing your face on a television screen in a café you quickly decided against that. You’d have to clean yourself up substantially before you could risk that, as you were sure that if you cut your hair, shaved, and got some new clothes, you’d probably be quite well hidden in plain sight, as it were.

Getting through London took the best part of three days, if nothing else than because a few people decided you were a stray and the City needed to be informed. That _was_ an issue of being in the city. But what you saw in the meantime was jaw-dropping.

Men, walking down the street together, holding hands. Men kissing. Women kissing. In plain sight of everyone. Sure, some people gave them dirty looks or spat abuse at them, but that was _some_ people. Not everyone. Not like it had been before.

It seemed a LOT had changed in those twelve years.

You wondered how it might have worked out with you and Remus if you’d been together now, not back then. Whether the lessened hostility might have made a difference. Whether you could have actually worked out. It was a tantalising thought.

There was one pub you passed that seemed to be a hangout for people like you, and you hovered around it for several hours, just watching. The patrons came and went, often arriving alone but leaving in pairs, and you felt a pang of jealousy. To be able to do this out in the open, in central London. You still couldn’t get your head around it.

So you stayed and watched some more. And the more the watched, the more you wanted again to be pardoned, to be able to take part in this new world you were witnessing.

Suddenly a page of newspaper flew past on the wind, and you caught it in your paw and looked at the date. Getting closer and closer to September, and you had to remember you didn’t know what Harry did on his holidays. If you wanted to catch him at his aunt and uncle’s house, you should get a move on.

Casting one last longing glance at the pub, you walked away.

 

****

 

Months later, as you kept your vigil at the school keeping an eye out for Peter, you saw something that made you think you were dreaming. The familiar, loping gait of the man who had once been your best friend, and your first love. What was he doing here? Could he have told Dumbledore about the dog form; could he be warning Harry? Some nosing around and a particularly intelligent cat helped you discover that Remus was actually working at the school. That was incredible! Maybe the prejudice against werewolves had dissipated as well? What a wonderful world for Remus to be living in, if that was the case. You were far more excited for him than seemed proper.

Taking up all your courage, you penned a note to your friend, trusting the ginger cat to deliver it. Watching through a window, you saw Remus open it. It was only short, but you hoped it got your feelings across.

 

_Dear Remus_

_I am not far away and would love to talk, if that’s possible. I have so much to explain to you. Please forgive me._

_S_

 

Short, sharp and shiny, but Remus would know who it was from. Your handwriting hadn’t changed since back then. Twelve years wasn’t always so long, after all.

You saw Remus read the note, then drop it onto the desk in front of him, staring at the window. Could he see you? Would he call Dumbledore? It was a risk, but you were sure it was one worth taking.

Remus picked up the note and read it again, and this time he came to the window. He looked pained as he gazed outside into the darkness, possibly searching for you, then went back to his desk and wrote something on the back of the note. He held it up facing the window, making sure it was visible from the outside.

 

_Not now._

 

And with that Remus pulled the curtains closed.

 

****

 

It wasn’t until months later, in the Shrieking Shack, that you finally got to speak to Remus. But that was in the presence of Harry and some other kids, and then Snape of all people got involved, the full moon came out, and you had to escape on a Hippogriff after Peter once again disappeared into the ether. Still not pardoned, still considered guilty, still in hiding. But you’d spoken to Remus, and Remus had accepted your version of what had happened all those years ago. And that was worth more than anything.

The letter came only a few days later. It filled you in on what had happened after your escape, but then was the important bit. The part you needed to read.

 

_You said you wanted to talk. I can’t wait to listen. If you are able to come back to England, you’ll find me at …_

 

His address was listed and your heart skipped a beat again. It was more than a concession. It was an invitation. And one you had every intention of accepting.


End file.
